Saturday, September 8, 2012
Today I woke up with a load off my shoulders...you see, last night (o.k. early morning) I had a conversation with God. I am one of those people (and there are a lot of us) that has a very hard time going back to sleep once awake No MATTER WHAT TIME THEY ARE AWOKEN. 5am is doable....2am not as much. Early morning tends to be my time to feel any anxiety if I am worried about something. I have had a few of these conversations with God over the years. In fact, I can count 5 of them right off the top of my head. Sometimes before I feel the peace I am seeking there are great, gulping tears and lots of hair pulling (ok maybe I am exaggerating a little here....maybe!) and I ask big questions like "Why me?" or "What now?" and I usually end up exhausted and just whisper "Please help." And sometimes I have felt this instant clarity and the knowledge re: what to do is just there. Every time I have had one of these conversations with God and the resulting epiphany, things have turned out ok. In fact they have turned out better than ok. I have learned over the years to trust these feelings because they are real and I am so grateful that I have been able to experience them in my times of self-doubt or anger or_____(insert negative emotion here). I have had worries resolved (like last night's conversation), I have had feelings of anger released with forgiveness taking it's place, I have suddenly just known that I was going to have a baby (after years of struggling, with the resulting anguish, to have one.). I know everyone has their struggles and a lot, if not most, of the time no one but the person struggling is aware of their private dilemma. I am curious as to what other people have felt. What journey have you taken to get to the place in your heart where you are at peace with a situation that has been causing you heartfelt stress? If you feel comfortable with doing so please share. I love hearing about other people's journeys and their growth experiences. They are a source of inspiration to myself and others.